Owen DeGeneres

Now, I know all you beloved readers (all 3 of you) are Ellen fans. I know this because if you're an Oprah fan you're not allowed to read this blog anymore. And if you're a Dr. Phil fan you're not allowed to exist anymore. Ellen is totally the coolest person ever. Wouldn't it be awesome if there were two of her? I'm here to tell you that there are! Well, more accurately, she is two people. She is the wonderful, amazing Ellen DeGeneres and the less successful, kind of lame Owen Wilson! Seriously. Compare some pics. Little bit of hair gel, some make up, and you have yourself Owen Wilson!

You may be thinking to yourself "Wow, now that you point it out I totally see it! They are the same person! But why would Ellen create such a lame alter ego?" Well, ladies and gentleman, imagine the pressure of being awesome all the time. It must be so tough to be Ellen. Which is why she created Owen. To take a realizing vacation from being awesome and successful, when she just wants to go out and have people be slightly excited rather than mob her, this is when she morphs into Owen. He is her beach vacation! Her hike through Europe! Further proof of the Owen DeGeneres phenomenon: Owen Wilson once appeared on her show. Just once. Their only appearance together. AND HE WORE A MOTORCYCLE HELMET THE WHOLE TIME. If that's not proof what is? DNA identification you say? I'm on it, I promise!