Predictions for the New Year!

Ok, just want to clear one thing up before I start this off. 2011 is not the start of a new decade. That was 2010. Just so we're all on the same page here.

So, instead of New Years Resolutions (lame) I like to make New Years predictions! It's more exciting when the pressure is off you to make them come true. So here goes:

1. Justin Beiber will cut his hair and sell it on the internet for billions. Or get murdered by a stalker.

2. America will realize Oprah is lame and Ellen is better!

3. Sarah Palin will start a committee to explore the possibility of running in 2012 (or an exploratory committee, or whatever they're called), and they will report that yes, America is stupid enough to vote for her.

4. Miley Cyrus will do something even more scandalous. But what?! Drugs, alcohol, sex...what will she do now? I'm eager to find out.

5. This blog will become super famous and Ellen will invite us on her show to dance!

6. Everyone will forget who Willow Smith is. Or she'll be upstaged by a fetus.

7. Americans will discover proof that Barack Obama really is an African Muslim out to take over the world. They knew it all along!

8. Gay rights. I feel like this is going to be a good year for them. I'm hoping for a lot of advances. (I'm totally serious on this one.)

9. Weed will be decriminalized! It already is in Mass, and I think possibly other places, but I think there's going to be more decriminalization happening this year. Which is actually really stupid. If the government has decided they don't really care that much if we're going to smoke weed, they really need to go all out, legalize it, and regulate it. Make a freaking weed tax and start cutting down the deficit! Of course, that is if the government wanted to maximize it's own interests. Apparently it has the best interests of smokers at heart, and decriminalization is the way to go.

10. The garden gnomes will launch the rebellion they've been plotting for centuries, and finally take us over. Then the unicorns will finally be able to come out of hiding, and humans will all turn into zombies. Be prepared people.

11. The suicide rate will spike after the last Harry Potter movie because, really, now that HP is over what do we have to live for anymore?

12. Fanny packs will come back in style. They've been biding their time for ages, and it is their turn to shine!