Harry Potter Should Really Be Called Neville Longbottom

I know, all the girls are giving me death glares now. They're all "WHO WAS IT WHO DEFEATED VOLDEMORT?!" Well guess what bitches- it's really Neville who always saves the day.

Sorcerer's Stone:

Who is it who tries to keep our 3 trouble makers from leaving and getting Gryffindor house into more trouble? My man L-Botts over here.

Also, let's think back ladies and gents- who was it who's 10 points for Gryffindor won them the house cup? Oh yeah, Neville. FOR STANDING UP TO HIS FRIENDS TO PROTECT THEM.

Never mind this whole book by book analysis, I don't feel like reading every book again to find all the examples of why Neville is actually the one who rocks my socks off. Let's cut straight to the chase:

Who were the two children who could have been of the prophecy? Oh yeah Harry AND NEVILLE. Neville was just as much the chosen one as Harry, except his parents actually managed to survive their attacks. Stronger blood line there?

Who do you think has it harder, Harry with no parents, or Neville who has to see his parents reduced to insanity? Harry can just think about how awesome it would be if he had parents. Neville would probably suffer less if his parents just didn't give him presents, rather than candy wrappers. That's got to be hard on a kid. Yet, while Neville is suffering quite possibly more than Harry is, does he have little teenage angst sessions? Does he hate on his BFFs and throw temper tantrums? Nope, he and Trevor just hang out and be awesome.

Who is it who deals with the Carrows and defends the students of Hogwarts and rallies against Voldemort's prescence in Hogwarts while our bro Harry is off wandering around, being angsty, and accomplishing nothing but getting himself into trouble and following foolish dreams of bringing his parents back while Voldemort is destroying the world? Oh yeah L-Botts again. No way. Also, who actually figured out how to use the Room of Requirement?

Who is it who is in charge of finishing off Voldey (well, Nagini) if Harry dies? Yep, Nevs. So basically, when Harry screws up it's Neville's job to fix shit so Voldemort can still be defeated. No freaking way. And when Harry is "dead" and Voldemort is gloating, and everyone is mourning, who is it who charges Voldemort? Neville never accepts defeat.. He's still fighting, even though the consequences are dire. He gets lit on fire, and he never gives up. And then, he breaks free of Voldemort's curse, pulls the sword of Godric Gryffindor out of the hat and kills Nagini. I'm getting shivers just thinking about it. Bam just like that. Let's be honest, old Volds was basically done right there. Neville is saving all the shit.

Moral of the story: while Harry is being angsty and "defeating Voldemort" Neville is in the background getting shit done, and generally being the better, under appreciated boy-who-also-lived. You know it's true. Also house elves. They never get enough credit.