Greetings, Earthlings!

Hello to all our lovely and dedicated readers,

We have had a long absence, and it's good to know that some of you are still here with us. I want to take a moment to do a special shout-out to the very special reader who found our page by: FIRST image searching "man thongs at walmart" and SECOND clicking on our lovely image of a thong (from this post). You found us by accident, but I hope you're still reading, and that you found some acceptable thongs at your nearby Walmart.

So many things have happened since I've last talked to you blog... Jimmy kissed me! I got a B on a math test! My mom bought me a new sweater! (Only one of those things is true.) Anyway, it's been a while. Before we continue to our regularly scheduled programming I'd just like to take a moment to update you.

The day after the curling post: I was admitted to the hospital. No curling for Abby. Sadness all around. Look forward to a highly exaggerated version of the story at some point in the future.

A month after the curling post: I go to Israel for a month to take classes! Yay!

Two months after the curling post: I arrive home from Israel and bum around for a while

Three weeks after that: I start a new job!

Two months after that (now): I am bored.

Now that we're all caught up on each other's lives, let's get down to business. I'm sure everyone is eagerly awaiting the conclusion to the curling story (plus the side quest hospital visit!), more mad libs, awesome pictures of weird things found at goodwill, and my never ending wit. I guess I'll write some of those posts. We've also got some guest posts lined up for you guys.

Before any of those happen though, I noticed that we're 2/3 of the way though 2011, and I thought it might be a good time to check in on those New Years Predictions we made, and see what else we can look forward to in the next 4 months.

1. JBeebz did indeed sell his hair on the internet for millions. Shit I am good. But he gave the proceeds to charity so props to him there!

2. I don't know if America realized Oprah is lame, but Oprah realized it! Okay this didn't quite come true, but Oprah is no longer on air and Ellen is in her slot, so I'm calling this one a victory. Congratulations America, you did it!

3. I think it's another win for America that this one didn't happen! Sarah  Palin is too busy being a reality tv star to be president.

4. As far as I know Miley's been kinda lame this year. Whatever.

5. Fingers crossed.

6. Suri Cruise doesn't have a music video yet, and I haven't thought about whipping my hair in months, so I feel good about this one.

7. We were so close, but then he went and released his birth certificate. Clearly forged.

8. New York state! Yay!

9. It's coming.

10. Just wait. Be prepared.

11. Some google research on this one tells me that the suicide rate went up in 2011, but apparently it's related to the economy. Also there's an increase in military suicudes. A google of "Harry Potter suicide rate" tells me that there was this one guy who heard a plot spoiler for the movie (hello, it's called THE BOOK) and killed himself. That's pretty much all I'm getting so it seems like this didn't come true. Though, there hasn't been that much time to collect data. I'll get back to you. I was pretty sad when it all ended to be honest. Went to the movie at midnight dressed like a snitch! Peter/Justin/Thomas if you're out there, you are super cool!

12. Fucking never. :)


There you have it people! Be prepared for the next 4 months!