Boston, People in Your City Have Nose Piercings.

So, I have a cold. Stupid person gave everyone a fucking cold. So I wake up this morning, and blow my nose, and then I realize "Hey! My nose stud is no longer in my face! AHA!" So I'm like "shit." So I decide I had it when I went to lovely boyfriends to sleep last night so it must have fallen out in bed. So I look in the bed, but nose ring is no where to be found. I don't know what to do, panic is rising in my chest! "Where could it have gone? Did it not love me? Is that why it left? Were we not happy together? DID I TOUCH IT INAPPROPRIATELY TO OFTEN?!" So, I look around the room, and give it up as a lost cause. The problem is, it's a fairly new piercing, only a few months, and I'm afraid it will close up. So I return to my room and move the earing that was in my cartilage to my nose. But I can't put the back on it, so it's just kinda dangling around in there, hanging out. So I shower and Hillary and I decide to go to Panera. Then, AFTER we've finished eating our food we decide "Let's invite this cool guy who we know who likes Panera! YAY!" So, cool guy is invited, says he'll be there soon. THEN we decide to invite other awesome friend who is also friends with cool guy. The two arrive shortly later, and eat. Now we've spent a good two hours at Panera. But then we just end up chatting about shit for an hour or so. Geting laid at Comicon, Liz Lemon, how Community BLEW OUR FUCKING MINDS THIS WEEK, Princess Leia's metal bikini, you know, important stuff. We also moved tables several times. Okay, only once. But still, the situation was ridiculous. So then we're like okay, maybe we should actually look for nose rings in the lovely city of Boston, which is why we left the room in the first place. But I'm lazy and don't want to go far, so we walk to Newbury street. The only place on Newbury street that might sell body jewelry is Newbury Comics, so we hit it up. Here's the problem: I want a 18 gauge labret. WELL THE CITY OF BOSTON DOESN'T HAVE ANY OF THOSE. They only have 16 gauge, and I don't want to make my hole any bigger! I want to have a real job someday! (Fuck you world). So, we decide to check out a few other stores, nothing. Plan B: the mall in Cambridge. We figure it's a mall, they'll have a Claire's and various other jewelry stores and shit. But SURPRISE MBTA is an asshole. NO. FUCKING. WAY. So we get kicked off our train because it's going to fuck itself (but really its going out of service) and then the next EIGHTEEN THOUSAND trains that come are also out of service (okay only 3, fuck you). So FINALLY another train comes and we board it and make it to the mall. But we almost die because it's so icy. Lovely weather we've been having lately Boston. Love you too Global Fucking Climate Change. We go to Claire's. ALL 16 GAUGE. FINE CLAIRE'S. WE WILL TAKE OUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE. So, we hit up Piercing Pagoda, because it turns out there isn't a Hot Topic in this mall - of course we went to the only fucking mall in America without a Hot Topic. Where are all the tools going to hang out? Claire's probably. So, guess what? Oh, yeah, Piercing Pagoda only has 16 gauge too. Cool, cool. I'm just going to go blow up Mars now. Well, Massholes, New Hampshire just schooled the shit out of you, since I know like 6 places to get them in NH. So I decide to just get some other kind that you like bend or something, and to have Hillary MAIL ME ONE FROM NH. WE DON'T HAVE TAX THERE SO IT WILL PROBABLY BE CHEAPER ANYWAY. But anyway,I'm super paranoid it's going to fall out, so I keep touching it, so I'm probably going to make it fall out. Fuck you Boston. Go die. I'm moving to the equator.