I certainly hope you're enjoying our lovely blog thus far. It is with great pleasure that I now bring you our first installment of National "Bitch At The Grocery Store" Day! Now, I know what you're thinking, but this is not an annual holiday. Oh no. School is session, the bank is open all day. NBATGSD is everyday. It's like Hanukkah, but longer, and instead of presents you get verbally abused. Sound good? Great. Let's get started!
It's a beautiful day in May. I am at the lovely retail food store where I am an ever important cashier. Everything was going smoothly, until I saw the one thing in my line that no cashier ever wants to see. That's right kids. A WIC order. Be afraid. But this was not just any WIC order. This one was for baby food. 48 FUCKING JARS of baby food.
It's a beautiful day in May. I am at the lovely retail food store where I am an ever important cashier. Everything was going smoothly, until I saw the one thing in my line that no cashier ever wants to see. That's right kids. A WIC order. Be afraid. But this was not just any WIC order. This one was for baby food. 48 FUCKING JARS of baby food.
Now, for those of you unfamiliar with WIC, I will explain why this is such a terrible thing. WIC is a government program for Women with Infants/Children (WIC, get it? Cute, I know). Participants are given vouchers for specific items that every child/mother needs (allegedly). But so that the government isn't losing money unnecessarily (riiiight), participants are only allowed to buy very specific foods approved by the government. Cashiers are required to make sure each item the participant is buying is approved, because who trusts moms to buy their babies the right food? NOT THE GOVERNMENT.
So anyway, there is this man in my line. He is super sketchy looking. Like meth addict sketchy. He was shaking the entire time this string of events was occurring. So there he is. With his ridiculous amounts of baby food. NONE OF WHICH ARE ON THE LIST OF APPROVED FOODS. I kindly inform him of this, and tell him he needs to get the correct ones. I write down the list of things he is allowed to get, just in case he didn't know and send him on his way. Approximately ten blissfully pleasant minutes pass before he returns, piles of baby food in hand (Why didn't he get a cart?) he dumps his mountains of baby food onto my register.
So anyway, there is this man in my line. He is super sketchy looking. Like meth addict sketchy. He was shaking the entire time this string of events was occurring. So there he is. With his ridiculous amounts of baby food. NONE OF WHICH ARE ON THE LIST OF APPROVED FOODS. I kindly inform him of this, and tell him he needs to get the correct ones. I write down the list of things he is allowed to get, just in case he didn't know and send him on his way. Approximately ten blissfully pleasant minutes pass before he returns, piles of baby food in hand (Why didn't he get a cart?) he dumps his mountains of baby food onto my register.
div>I begin to look at them, and realize that an unimaginable thing has happened. THIS MAN HAS GOTTEN ALL THE WRONG THINGS AGAIN, EVEN WITH A LIST TO FOLLOW. Seriously dude? How can you be this dumb? HOW??! I am shocked, confused and just a little frightened as I tell this man that he needs to get the correct items FOR A THIRD TIME. He becomes infuriated with me and starts yelling at me about how unfair this is and how all these rules are "fucking stupid". Once he finishes his tirade, I calmly told him that I was sorry, but I don't know what else I can do for him. (I told him what he needed to get. I wrote him a fucking list. I do not have time right now to teach him how to read.) He continues to shout about the injustices of receiving government aid and how "retarded" it is that there are rules. 
"My baby likes mixed vegetables! Why won't you let me buy them?!" is just one exclamation emitted by this man. I don't know what to do. He won't shut up. And then, the sheer stupidity of his proclamations made my head explode into sweet, sweet oblivion.
The end.
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